Curious about the squirt

Dear Tristan,

After watching porn change over the last few years, I’ve noticed that a lot more actresses seem to be squirting.  Why is that?  Is this something that was previously not shown and has become acceptable in porn so now we see it everywhere? I’ve had 10 partners over the years and only one of them has squirted like in a porn video – do all women have the ability to squirt?

Signed, Curious About The Squirt

Dear Curious,

Yes, in the porn industry it’s definitely more of “the thing” to show women ejaculating – and it’s not only  porn stars that are doing it! I can tell you that I get far more questions about squirting now than I did even three years ago, and increasing numbers of women are curious about what they can do to experience ejaculation. Thanks to the plethora of books, articles, classes, and information available at sex-positive stores like Passion, g-spot play has become something that’s moved from the theoretical to the experiential. And since g-spot stimulation and squirting go hand-in-hand, many more women are able to experience female ejaculation.

Keep in mind that it has only been fairly recently that female ejaculation was even acknowledged. In the past, many women have ejaculated and been embarrassed by it; they believed they were actually urinating or that something was wrong with their bodies. Now that we are more open about what squirting is and that it’s not as unusual (or distasteful) as most people thought, many women are exploring (both solo and with their partners) whether they, too, might be able to achieve the gush.

The keys to trying it? First of all, it’s always more fun if everyone involved is willing, relaxed, and a little turned on to start out with. G-spots are always more engorged, and easier to find, when the woman is aroused – so don’t just go straight for the g-spot without some foreplay first!  Next, you’ll want to take the attitude that you’re exploring, and that it’s all about finding out what feels good and what doesn’t work. Rarely does someone have a brain-stopping ejaculation (or g-spot orgasm, for that matter) within the first five minutes of stimulation…so don’t focus on the “goal” as much as on the journey.

You’ll also want to make sure you have the right tools on hand for the job. Lubrication is very important – even if it’s not usually an issue, you might want to have some great silicone or water-based lubricant on hand (and silicone holds up wonderfully for more fun, even post-ejaculation). I highly recommend Astroglide water-based lubricant ; for those using who would prefer a silicone-based lube, Eros Bodyglide and Eros Woman are healthy and sexy options.

There are also plenty of toys available that are specially shaped to make g-spot stimulation easier – just keep in mind that many people find that toys made from firmer materials, like glass, metal, or firm silicone, are more effective at supplying the firm pressure to the g-spot that most women find pleasurable. Your best bet is to use your hands and other toys you might already have to find out what kinds of stimulation work best, then look for toys that will fit the bill perfectly!

With lube + affection,

Tristan Taormino